


I Love You (But That's A Lie)

by AmatusVhenan



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, Break Up, Breaking Up & Making Up, Fluff, Love Triangles, M/M, Multi, Rating will go up, Smut, Yunho is dense, but please try to keep up somehow, everyone is love with the wrong person, everyones like heartbroken for some reason, hongjoong is just a sad bby, i actually cant think of any tags, im so sorry, oh boy this is gonna be a long one, probably, seonghwa is whipped but cant figure anything out, there will be smut, this story feels like a mess, yeosang doesnt know how to express his feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2020-11-03 21:10:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20667437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmatusVhenan/pseuds/AmatusVhenan
Summary: "Liar."-Seonghwa breaks up with Hongjoong, thinking to himself that he wants someone else. Even though he was the one that ended his heart still breaks with every passing day. Even though his arms hold someone else every night his voice still calls for Hongjoong.Hongjoong wanted Seonghwa back. But he only ended up running into someone else's arms and began to force himself to forget. It was just so much harder when the only thing he can think about is the way Seonghwa looks at someone else.Yunho and Yeosang are caught in the middle and they're not making things any easier.Everyone else just wants to tell them flat out that they're all falling in love with the wrong person.





	1. Love and Lies

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I hope you all enjoy this first chapter! This fic is basically going to be full of heart break, tears and love triangles. More so love squares or whatever.
> 
> Please note that even though some members are acting ooc it's all made up so that this story can be made. //and theres no specific timeline or canon roommates 
> 
> Feel free to leave your thoughts and all that stuff!
> 
> //i also dont use formalities or anything qwq
> 
> //not beta read btw

Hongjoong couldn’t stop his tears. He couldn’t breathe and his heart was cut into a million pieces. He gritted his teeth and began hitting the other’s chest, screaming. He knew that they were in the dorm and everyone could hear them from downstairs but he could care less. He was hurt and frustrated because this break up was over the most stupid thing ever. Hongjoong never in his life had cried this hard, even when they got their first win his tears didn’t spill like this. Two hands grabbed at his wrists and suddenly his arms were pulled down to his side. He trembled and fell to the floor, his hands reaching for the man in front of him and holding onto the hem of his shirt.

“Please... Let’s fix this...” he pleaded in such a strangled voice.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think we can.” Seonghwa stared down, he was already tearing up but he wasn’t going to break down when Hongjoong was already a mess. He opened the door to leave, only to find someone standing there. 

“Yunho.” Seonghwa was shocked to see him but instantly avoided eye contact and pushed past the taller member. 

Hongjoong was crumpled on the floor, his hand clenching his chest and his breathing so uneven that he felt like he was going to pass out. How could love hurt this much? Well, maybe it was because Seonghwa was his first love. Yunho narrowed his eyes to the vocalist before rushing towards their leader and calling out his name. Everyone knew they were going out, Hongjoong accidentally let it slip at one point but they all supported them. 

“Seonghwa... Seonghwa...” Hongjoong repeated leaning over and letting his head fall to the floor. Yunho’s face twisted into one of such sadness. Not once did he see Hongjoong break like this. The one who always smiled, the one who’s laughter could brighten your mood, the backbone of Ateez, their leader. He gently lifted the smaller one up back to his feet, supporting him and bringing him over to the bed. Yunho had no words, even if he wanted to say something he couldn’t. He didn’t even feel like smiling to cheer him up. Hongjoong’s tears kept falling, he hiccuped and sniffled and called out for their vocalist; probably not even realizing who was beside him. Before Yunho could realize what he was doing he was wiping the other’s tears away and bringing him closer. 

Yunho’s heart ached for him. He wanted Hongjoong. 

Their lips ghosted over each other but they didn’t touch. A whimper left Hongjoong’s mouth and it made Yunho pull away. A sad smile on his face.

“I’m sorry. Please stop crying.” Hongjoong was pulled into a hug.

He was crying even more from the warmth. 

~

“Everything Yeosang does is cute.” Seonghwa commented with a laugh. The visual of the group denied it but everyone else agreed. They were all currently in the living room, the clock just hitting midnight. Snacks were scattered on the table and a marathon of random movies were playing in the background. It was one of the nights where everyone just sat around and mindlessly had conversations about anything. Yeosang fell back onto the couch a blush and a small laugh when they kept complimenting him.

“Oh, but Hongjoong can be really cute too.” Yunho nudged their leader.

“Yeah, he’s the big Korean minion.” Mingi instantly agreed. Hongjoong told them stop but they kept teasing him and his face continued to grow to a hue of red. Even Seognhwa was calling him cute.

A couple of months passed since their break up and even after a night full of tears he was still the same old Hongjoong during the very next day. Him and Seonghwa acted normal, they both knew that there was no need for any drama so even though it was killing the red head on the inside he refused to let it get in the way. 

“Let’s play something.” San said once the laughter began to die out.

“No punishment games tonight, I can’t handle any more flicks to the head.” Mingi rubbed his forehead and pretended that he was in pain.

“Fine. How about truth or dare?” San suggested as he threw a couple of chips into his mouth.

“Sure, I haven’t played that game in so long.” Wooyoung suddenly became enthusiastic even though his eyes were fluttering closed just a second ago. The rest of them began agreeing. “We’ll start with the youngest member.” San pointed to their maknae.

Jongho processed it before letting out an ‘ah’ and looking around the room. 

“Truth or dare, Yeosang.” 

Yeosang gave a nervous look, since it was Jongho either option wasn’t safe. He adjusted his position so that he could attempt to hide behind Yunho before answering. “Truth.”

The maknae thought for a while, making everyone anxious. 

“Is it true...” he paused, he was a bit worried about asking the question but it was the only interesting one that he had for their main visual. “Is it true that you’ve kissed one of us.” 

Everyone exclaimed, San was jumping already and smacking the pillow onto the table. Wooyoung dropped the bag of chips while everyone else suddenly got closer to Yeosang. He shrunk into the couch and hid his face in embarrassment.

“Ye-Yes...”

Screams of excitement were echoing through the dorm even though it was so late at night. They tried to ask who but he wouldn’t tell. Yeosang looked back at everyone once they all calmed down and were whispering among each other. Seonghwa glanced over with a grin.

“It’s your turn.” 

Hongjoong caught the way the vocalist stared at the younger member and he swore that he was about throw up when his heart fell into his stomach. It was the same look that Seonghwa gave him. The same way his eyes narrowed and the way he smiled. His head tilting a little to the side that made Yeosang hide behind Yunho again. Hongjoong tried to tell himself that he was just imagining things but it didn’t work when the vocalist moved spots to loop his arm around Yeosang and draw him closer. 

“Hongjoong. Hongjoong. Hongjoonie~” 

“H-huh?” the rapper blinked a few times to find everyone staring at him. His eyes met with Seognhwa but he looked over to Yeosang quickly. 

“Truth or dare?” the younger one asked.

Tripping over his words he blurted out dare even though he wanted to say truth. 

“Oh~” they all applauded at his choice. 

“I dare you to kiss the cheek of the one you think is the most attractive.” 

They all stared in silence before reacting, Seonghwa chuckled trying to prepare himself for a kiss from his ex. They all stared intently at their leader who was laughing and waving his hand trying to find an excuse to not do this but they began cheering him on. He facepalmed before quickly kissing the cheek of the one beside him.

Yunho processed it, reacting late and jumping up from the couch while Hongjoong was on now on the floor, covering his burning face. Seonghwa stared while everyone was clapping. Yeosang looked over and nudged him, making him react. The game continued until they all realized it was already almost 1 AM. They cleaned up quickly and returned to their respective rooms. 

Yunho laid in his bed, he felt his cheek and blushed with a grin. As if he accomplished something. Hongjoong chose him and he did it without any hesitation. He wanted to believe that their leader was over Seonghwa but he couldn’t be too sure since he could still hear the smaller member sniffling at night or mindlessly playing breakup songs. He looked over at the bed that was beside his, Hongjoong had his back turned but the dim light from his phone signalled that he was still awake. 

“Hey, Joong.” Yunho called quietly.

“Hm?” it was a tired response but he still turned around to look at the taller member.

“You really think I’m the most attractive?” 

Hongjoong laughed and turned off his phone. “Yeah, of course.” 

“More than Yeosang?”

“Maybe.” Hongjoong thought they were just joking around and having fun as Yunho continued down the list of Ateez members.

“More than Seonghwa?”

There was no reply and Yunho wasn’t surprised. Even though Hongjoong kept answering without any hesitation the name of their vocalist had the leader shrinking into his covers and biting his bottom lip. The silence dragged on.

“So, you’re still in love with him.” 

Yunho closed his eyes, he was frowning now. Glad that it was too dark for Hongjoong to see his reaction. The only sound in the room was Hongjoong shuffling around his bed. 

“I don’t think I am.”

The taller member gave a fake laugh, trying to the fact that he was a bit hurt over the whole situation. He was still in love with their small leader. Ever since their Codename Ateez series. The way Hongjoong would cling onto him, hug him and rely on him had Yunho falling in love faster than he could realize his own feelings. The two slowly fell asleep without another word. 

~

Seonghwa continued to toss and turn in his bed. He didn’t hesitate to check his phone when he heard the soft vibration.

Yeosang: did you get jealous earlier?

The vocalist ran his fingers through his hair, a little frustrated at himself and at the younger member.

Seonghwa: I didn’t. Did you?

Yeosang: not really, but you were staring at Yunho like you wanted to hurt him :0

Seonghwa: Goodnight, yeosang.

Seonghwa turned off his phone completely so that it wouldn’t distract him. He knew he had to get up early and it was already almost 2. He rubbed his eyes and let out a loud sigh which made his roommate look over at him.

“Why did you text me when you’re right here.”

“You didn’t look like you wanted to talk.” Yeosang stared at the vocalist. “You’re still in love with Hongjoong, right?”

“I’m not. I was the one that ended our relationship.”

“For what reason? You never told me.”

Seonghwa hesitated but answered nonetheless. “Because... It felt like Hongjoong didn’t have any more feelings for me.”

“Liar.”

He held his breath at Yeosang’s answer. 

“You were the one who thought you were in love with someone else.” 

Yeosang got out of bed and moved into Seonghwa’s and cuddled close to him.

“Am I the one you’re in love with?” he asked and rested his head onto his chest to listen to his quickening heartbeat.

“You are.” Yeosang laughed and felt Seonghwa wrap his arms around him.

“Liar.” he said again.

The two stayed in bed together. Seonghwa always wanted to hold Yeosang like this, maybe because he started spending more time with him and less time with Hongjoong that his feelings decided to mess him up. He wouldn’t say that they were dating but they have kissed a couple of times and slept in the same bed, tangled in each others arms. But his heart didn’t beat like it would for Hongjoong. Seonghwa was guilty for wanting to see how it was like with Yeosang and he admitted that it wasn’t the same. Even their kisses felt like poison on his lips but he was torn between the two. Not being able to be honest with himself he couldn’t go back to Hongjoong. Not after seeing how he gradually began clinging to Yunho more and more each day. 

Seonghwa wasn’t the only one. Yeosang was killing himself on the inside too. Kissing the vocalist like it was nothing when he imagined that it was someone else. In the moment Seonghwa slipped his hand under Yeosang’s shirt.

In the dark he mumbled out the one name he always called out in a moment like this.

“Y-Yunho...”

Seonghwa began to kiss him.

“Hongjoong...”

They both hated themselves for not being able to be honest. 

They just wanted to feel the warmth of someone else.


	2. Fake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yunho doesn't want to hold back anymore. He wants Hongjoong and Hongjoong wants to forget. That's all he wants to do, even if he needs someone to do it for him. He doesn't mind getting caught up in a one sided relationship, even when he'll be the cause of it.
> 
> Yeosang can't hide anything from Wooyoung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow, I actually made a second chapter???  
Basically just trying to hint out pairings and trying to get things rolling! I'm not planning on making too many chapters so it may seem that things are being rushed, sorry. orz
> 
> But I hope you guys enjoy anyways!
> 
> //not beta read

The sunlight peeking through the slit of blinds made Hongjoong scrunch his nose and attempt to close his eyes even more. He turned to his side with a groan, he could already hear Yunho moving around in the room. Hongjoong sat up slowly and stretched before swinging his legs off to the side of the bed.

“Good morning.” Yunho slipped a shirt on and watched as the leader stumbled his way to the bathroom, half asleep still. The taller member couldn’t help but think about how cute his messy bed head was. “It’s still pretty early if you wanna sleep in.”

“Nah, we can get a head start with practice.” Hongjoong took about 30 minutes to get ready before they were on their way to the studio. They were the first ones there, the rapper hadn’t realized that it was only 5:30 AM. They still had at least 20 minutes until everyone else started arriving. The two decided on just allowing their phones to play songs and they would do a dance cover as their warm up. Majority of them were a bunch of hip hops songs or a few of their own songs until a slow romantic one began to play. 

“Oh, sorry. I’ll skip this one.” Hongjoong crouched down to tap the screen of his phone that was on the floor but Yunho suddenly pulled him back up.

“I’m okay with this one.” the smaller member looked up and found the other’s face so close to his. 

“I-If you say so.” Hongjoong nervously laughed as Yunho began to lead. Their hands intertwined together and Yunho pulled him closer. With his hand on the older one’s waist he danced to the slow beat of the song as if he had done this before. Hongjoong kept tripping and stumbling but he was always held in place by the other. He could feel his face heat up as Yunho stared down at him with such a serious expression. One that made his heart skip at least once. 

“Hongjoong...” Yunho said his name in such a hushed tone, it sounded like he was about to cry.

“Yunho?” Hongjoong furrowed his brows in concern, “are you alright?”

“I... I will be.” Yunho couldn’t hold himself back. Hongjoong was so close to him, his small hand shook out of embarrassment with each step and his nervous laughter echoed in the room as they continued to dance to the song. The last beat played and brought the it to an end. Hongjoong was about to pull away but Yunho held onto his waist with a tight grip. 

“Yunho-”

He kissed him. 

His kiss was so soft and light that it was like their lips were barely touching but there was no doubt that they were connected. Hongjoong’s eyes widened in surprise, his heart wanted to jump out of his chest as Yunho tangled his fingers into the other’s hair, pushing gently so that their kiss deepened. Hongjoong didn’t stop him, he missed the feeling of such sweet kisses. His arms gradually looped around Yunho’s neck, his body melting into the moment. None of them wanted to stop. The room grew hot and soon enough Hongjoong was panting, trying to catch a moment to breathe but he didn’t want to pull away either. 

“Hongjoong.” Yunho called as he pushed him against the wall. The rapper held onto him like his entire life depended on it. Hongjoong wanted to cry, he hadn’t felt his heart beat like this for such a long time, he missed the gentle touch, the soft kisses that were placed on his neck, cheeks and lips. Yunho stopped at his ear, his breath heavy and making Hongjoong let out a little noise that pleased the taller one. Just he pulled away, knowing that their time would be up soon and the door would open at any moment Hongjoong grabbed onto his shirt.

“Don’t leave...” Hongjoong trembled under Yunho’s touch. He wanted this moment to last, afraid that if he stepped away he wouldn’t be able to ever relive this feeling. 

“I won’t.” he pushed the other’s bangs to the side and kissed his forehead. “But we can’t let the other’s see us like this.” 

Hongjoong was suddenly brought back to reality, realizing that they were in the practice room. His face turned a full red as he laughed nervously, trying to shake off whatever he felt before. He couldn’t let the other’s see him like this. Just as Yunho moved away the door opened. It was Seonghwa. 

“Oh, you guys are here early.”

“I was going to say the same thing, doesn’t it take an hour for you to shower?” Hongjoong commented with a laugh. Seonghwa rolled his eyes and took a seat in the middle of the room. “I woke up earlier than I expected.” the vocalist wasn’t able to sleep properly when Yeosang was kicking in his sleep or trying to squeeze his body as close as he could into Seonghwa’s arms. Soon enough everyone else began to walk in. Once they were all gathered into a circle it was time for practice. 

They continued to repeat the same choreo, pointing various things out and re doing them until Hongjoong told them that it was time to take a break. They all fell the floor exhausted. San scooted over to Wooyoung to place his head on his leg and use his phone comfortably. The other mindlessly began playing with his hair as he talked with Yeosang. 

“You guys look like a couple.” Jongho pointed at the two.

“Huh?” Both San and Wooyoung looked at their maknae at the same time. Yeosang was snickering, trying to stay quiet. Their faces began to heat up, the two of them denying the fact that they were together.

“I didn’t say that you guys were together, I just mentioned that it looked like it.” Jongho gave them a sort of confused look because their reactions were more defensive than it probably should. The youngest shrugged it off and continued to browse his phone while practising his vocals. Wooyoung let out a sigh and pushed San off his leg. Yeosang rolled his eyes and got up.

“You shouldn’t keep secrets, Wooyoung.” 

“You shouldn’t either.” he said back almost in an instant. With a smile still on his face he looked up at his friend. “Whatever you’re doing nowadays with other members, I think we should talk about it one day.” 

Yeosang kept quiet. Instead of reply he walked away, a little ticked off at such a reply. He knew he probably couldn’t keep anything a secret when it came to Wooyoung but he didn’t have to mention it so suddenly. Especially when the others could’ve heard him. Hongjoong clapped his hands, telling everyone to get into position. Once they finished they all returned back to the dorms. Yeosang lagged behind. He purposely walked slower than the others and pulled Seonghwa to his side. 

“What’s wrong with you?” he glanced over at the younger one that seemed frustrated.

“Nothing.” Yeosang waited until everyone was out of sight and he couldn’t hear their voices. In an instant he kissed Seonghwa. The vocalist laughed into it.

“What?”

“Nothing, you’re just really cute.” Seonghwa could see how Yeosang puffed his cheeks and his grip on his arms were tighter than usual.

“Shut up.” they kissed again. 

“Yeosang...” Wooyoung watched his friend from around the corner. “What are you doing?” he ran his fingers through his hair and walked away, knowing that Seonghwa wasn’t the one that Yeosang talked about every night. 

~

Hongjoong followed Yunho to their room. He took a seat on his bed and watched as the taller one sat down across from him. He was smiling while the leader sat awkwardly, avoiding eye contact as much as he could. 

“What’s wrong?” Yunho tilted his head.

“N-nothing... Well- there is something. About what happened earlier.”

“Ah, you mean how we kissed.”

Kissed. Hongjoong hadn’t done that in so long that every time he thought about it he could feel butterflies in his stomach. He felt his lips and nodded, still refusing to look at him. Yunho sighed and leaned back, he looked up at the ceiling, he couldn’t find anything to say. Finally after a long awkward silence between them Hongjoong spoke up in a quiet voice.

“Why did you do it?”

“Because...” another long pause. Hongjoong could feel his heartbeat quicken, not because he was blushing but because he was afraid that Yunho didn’t mean anything by it. That it was just spur of the moment kind of thing, because the music was just that romantic or because he just wanted to try it one time. He found himself hoping that it was none of those options and that the kiss actually meant something. Even though Hongjoong was thinking back to the times Seonghwa had kissed him he really wanted someone to replace those bittersweet memories that haunted him during every second of his life. 

Yunho didn’t reply yet. Instead he got up and grabbed Hongjoong’s cheeks. Cupping them in his hands he turned his head so that their eyes could finally meet. At first Yunho’s eyes widened, their leader was crying again. In an instant the younger one had his arms around Hongjoong, pushing him down onto his bed and holding him tight that the shorter one began complaining that he couldn’t breathe. Yunho propped himself up and stared straight down. 

“Yunho...” Hongjoong wanted to break eye contact again but he just couldn’t. He wanted to stare at how Yunho was smiling, how his eyes kept searching for a reaction and how his body trembled ever so slightly. 

“Because I like you, Hongjoong. I’ve liked you for so long. Even when you were with Seonghwa I still liked you, I still thought of you and still imagined myself in his place. I want to be the one now, I want to hold you, kiss you and I want you to be calling out for me. And only me.” Yunho spilled his heart out, his hands clutching onto the sheets as he tried to hold his tears back. 

“I want you to be mine.” Yunho knew it was useless, the one he was staring down at was only looking at one man. Even though he was the one right in front of him he knew that Hongjoong was still thinking about Park Seonghwa. 

Hongjoong gulped, well aware that he might regret this answer in the future. 

“Then make me yours.”

Yunho lost himself right after those words, his mouth already stealing a kiss. Hongjoong just wanted to be selfish, he wanted to remember what love felt like. 

Even if it was fake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut next chapter? //thonking
> 
> maybe that's way too quick but everyone likes smut
> 
> amirite 
> 
> bye


	3. Lust In a Lie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //not beta read!
> 
> aaaahhh- i havent written smut in so long so go easy on me! and i'm really just hurting yunho :c  
but dw i swear he's going to be happy  
//i think

Everything was a blur. Hongjoong couldn’t focus when Yunho’s tongue tangled with his own. He flipped them over so that the small leader was now on top, the other’s hands cupping his ass and pulling him closer. Their hips grinding against each other. Hongjoong yelped at the sudden friction while Yunho licked his lips and began nipping at his neck, continuing to roll his hips. Hongjoong found his tongue hitting the roof of his mouth, instinctively letting out the sound of an ‘S’. Instantly Yunho caught on and bit down onto his shoulder. Hongjoong hissed in pain.

“What was the for?” the leader seemed annoyed.

“Look at me, Hongjoong.”

And he did. Their eyes staring into each other. Yunho gently rubbed the wound that he caused, giving a smile that Hongjoong knew he was forcing. 

“Who am I?”

“Yunho.”

“Then why won’t you say it?” Yunho flipped them over again, crashing their lips together and becoming more forceful. His hands grabbing onto the other’s shirt and aggressively removing it. Hongjoong admitted that he was scared at the sudden shift of his personality but he knew that the name “Seonghwa” was rolling on his tongue. He didn’t mind if Yunho acted like this because at the same time it turned him on. Hongjoong kicked his own pants off while Yunho sat up and removed his own shirt. The smaller member pulled him back down and kissed him, his mouth fully open and giving the younger one full access. Yunho nibbled and sucked on Hongjoong’s bottom lip before pulling away with a trail of thin saliva following. His hands roaming down, cherishing the sensation of Hongjoong’s skin. His hand eventually cupping the other’s member through his boxers. A loud moan suddenly echoed in the room. Hongjoong slapped his hand over his mouth and apologized for his sudden reaction. His face burned a full red and he looked away.

Yunho pulled his hand away, his eyes clouded with lust as he stared down at Hongjoong. “No, please. Let me hear you.” he pulled down his boxers and grabbed the other’s cock, moving his hand in a slow and teasingly motion. Hongjoong’s entire body twitched, his hips moving on it’s own for a faster pace. His hands reaching out wrapping around his neck. Bringing him down he kissed him with such desperation that drool fell from the side of his mouth. Yunho continued to move his hand, picking up the pace and listening to the moans once their mouths finally moved away from each other. Yunho moved down, his breath over the tip of Hongjoong’s member.

“Y-Yunho, wait- you don’t have to- ah!” Hongjoong threw his head back, his entire cock taken in.

Yunho worked around the tip first, swirling his tongue around slowly before taking him all in again. He craved the taste of Hongjoong for so long that he felt like he was on a high during all this. He bobbed his head up and down, his hand keeping Hongjoong’s legs in place, he felt them twitch; knowing that he really couldn’t take it. Pulling away the leader whined and bucked his hips, his mouth hanging open with his tongue sticking out.

“Hang on, I don’t want you to finish yet.” 

Yunho pressed his own tongue against his, pushing it back in. He finally removed his own pants, his member almost touching his own stomach. Hongjoong licked his lips. They adjusted their positions so that Yunho leaned back on the headboard with Hongjoong in between his legs. His tongue already working on his cock.

“Hongjoong... Ah, you’re so cute...” Yunho breathed out as the older one did his best to take the entire length in his mouth. He gagged a bit, it had been a while since he’s done this but he still did his best. Yunho ran his fingers through Hongjoong’s hair, shushing him. “It’s fine, you don’t have to.” he let his head fall onto his shoulder, he listened to the wet noises and the little noises that came from their leader. Hongjoong suddenly pulled away just as Yunho felt that familiar feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“Can we... Have sex?” Hongjoong sat in front of Yunho, his eyes looking away again. 

A little thrown off guard Yunho cleared his throat before answering. “If you’re alright with it.” 

Hongjoong nodded. Yunho reached over the drawer beside the rapper’s bed. He rummaged through it before bringing out a small bottle of lube. 

“How did you-”

“Just had a feeling.” Yunho smirked. He turned Hongjoong around so that his ass was up in the air. Just by the sight in front of him he felt like he was going to pass out. He never expected to ever see Hongjoong like this but God, was he ever thankful right now. He admired it, hearing the other complain and whine; moving his hips and basically begging. Yunho didn’t hesitate, he squirted a generous amount of lube onto his fingers before gently prodding the entrance. He slowly pushed a finger in and watched his reaction. Hongjoong was only moaning, his hands gripped onto the sheets. After a while of preparing him he finally used the last of the lube on his cock.

“Tell me if it hurts.” Yunho said before pushing the tip in. Hongjoong’s breathing was erratic, the feeling of his cock was different. It felt like an entire new experience. Tears fell from his eyes, his heart wouldn’t stop beating loudly in his chest as Yunho pushed his entire length into Hongjoong. He stopped, giving the other a moment to relax. He shushed him and began to move as slow as he could. The pace killed Yunho. He wanted to just fuck Hongjoong into the bed, he wanted to force Seonghwa out of his mind. He wanted a rough pace that had him screaming so that the entire dorm could hear him. Gradually he sped up, his hips snapping into Hongjoong, the sound of their skin slapping against each other were mixed with both of their voices. 

“Yunho..! Yunho!!” Hongjoong continued to scream his name. This was exactly what Yunho was hoping for. He held onto the other’s hips as he fucked Hongjoong. “Ah- I’m so c-close!” 

The smaller member began moving his own hips in unison, focusing on his own pleasure. He couldn’t hold back his voice, he had no idea how loud he was until Yunho slammed his cock into him one more time and his vision blurred. Hot strings of white shot out from his cock, staining the bed sheets. Yunho’s body twitched along with Hongjoong, his own seed spilling out the sides of the leader’s entrance. The two were still, trying to catch their breath. Yunho slowly pulled out and fell back, leaning against the headboard again. Hongjoong took a while before slowly moving off the bed. His legs instantly gave out and he almost fell forward. Yunho watched, he gulped watching as his own come dripped down Hongjoong’s thighs.

“I’m going to go shower.” the rapper turned his head to look at Yunho. “Feel free to join me.”

Yunho licked his lips and instantly followed. Hongjoong smiled to himself, he felt so warm inside but as he watched the taller member step in with him he couldn’t bring himself to feel anything. Just the need of another good fuck. 

~

The two were now fully clothed. Hongjoong was on his bed now, headphones on wiht his laptop in front of him. He hummed to the beat that he created and continued working. Yunho sat in front of the computer, focused on a game that he recently got but was already close to finishing it. During the black loading screen he caught the rapper staring at him. He instantly looked back down to his laptop and began typing away. Yunho chuckled and got up. He walked over and gave Hongjoong a quick peck to the cheek.

The rapper blinked a few a times, he felt his cheek and looked up.

“Why di-”

“Because I like you. Didn’t I say that before?” 

“Yeah but...”

“Joong, we just had sex. That technically makes us something doesn’t it?”

Hongjoong stared at him, he could easily just say yes and forget about his past relationship but the answer felt like it was stuck in his throat. Instead of responding he just smiled and kissed Yunho back before nodding his head and turning his attention back to the screen. The taller member could only laugh before returning to the computer. He ran his fingers through his hair, hoping that Hongjoong couldn’t hear the way his heart shattered and the way that his tears fell onto the desk. He rubbed his tears away and continued playing in silence even though he’d usually be doing a commentary, but how could he? He just had sex with someone he loved, even though the other didn’t feel the same way. 

Hongjoong left the room and Yunho broke down. Tears spilling from his eyes even though he kept wiping them away. He cursed himself for getting lost in lust and he hated himself even more for believing that Hongjoong forgot about Seonghwa.


	4. Both Wrong and Right Timing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this story never really has a focus on a certain relationship or character, it really just switches from everyone so yeah uwu
> 
> As I usually say, I'm not planning on making this a super big story so it'll probably feel rushed sorry q w q

Yunho woke up at his desk. The computer still on with his character standing still, he rubbed his eyes and stared at the screen. Did he really just cry himself to sleep? He sat up and felt something slip off his shoulders, before it could fall to the floor he grabbed it. Yunho stared at the jacket while smiling. It was Hongjoongs. The night before replayed in his mind like a movie. The way Hongjoong stared at him, the feeling of his soft skin, his voice and his scent were burned into his mind. Yunho blushed and tried to forget about any lewd thoughts as he folded the jacket and placed it onto his leader's bed. The sheets were still messy and Hongjoong's clothes from last night were on the floor. It just reminded him even more that it wasn't a dream and he really did have sex with Hongjoong. Yunho took a deep breath before leaving the room and heading into the kitchen where everyone was already eating. For the first time in what seemed like forever they were all sitting around the table and talking. 

"Ah! Yunho!" Mingi waved him over to take the seat next to him. 

Once he sat down he instantly made eye contact with the one in front of him. Yunho's face instantly burned up, Hongjoong was staring right at him with his lips curved into a smile. Just the sight of him turned Yunho into a flustered mess and it didn't help that Hongjoong removed his sweater to expose the mark he left last night. Since he was only wearing a short sleeve shirt it was right out in the open. Hongjoong didn't mind, he was actually hoping Seonghwa would see it. If the vocalist got jealous over a hickey then he believed it was a sign that he still had a chance with him. 

"Where did you get that?" Mingi instantly pointed out. 

Yunho gulped. Was everyone really just going to find out like this? Although, he didn't mind showing everyone who Hongjoong belonged to now. 

"Is that a hickey?" San asked, his eyes wide from both shock and interest. 

Hongjoong played it off. He pretended that he forgot it was there and instantly placed his sweater back on. He laughed nervously and rubbed the nape of his neck. 

"N-no, you're just seeing things!" 

Jongho let out a hum before staring down his hyung. 

"Tell us the truth, you can't hide anything." 

Both Seonghwa and Yeosang kept quiet, both watching as everyone else tried to get their leader to confess. Finally after what seemed like almost 30 minutes of everyone yelling Hongjoong finally shushed them by telling the truth. 

"Okay, fine. It is a hickey. I got it last night." 

"Seriously? From who?!" San had Hongjoong in a head lock from the excitement. 

Hongjoong smirked before turning his gaze over to Seonghwa. 

"Yunho did." 

Seonghwa's mouth slightly opened, like he wanted to say something while his brows furrowed into an upset expression. Yeosang's eyes widened as he stared at Hongjoong. His expression was twisted into one that their leader couldn't figure out. The smug look that Hongjoong had didn't last when their visual suddenly had the look of a child that was about to break down and cry. Mingi instantly broke the silent reactions from everyone.

"I can't believe you didn't text me about it! I thought we talked about everything!" the rapper was shaking his friend that was tripping over his words as he tried to explain. "Say no more, I'm seriously happy for you! You've been in love with him for so long."

"Shut up!" Yunho placed his hands over Mingi's mouth.

"I'm happy for you guys too." Seonghwa suddenly spoke up before he gave Hongjoong a forced smile. He excused himself from the table and dragged Yeosang out with him. Wooyoung watched them leave. He clicked his tongue before following them. 

"So that means you're dating now, right?" San had finally let go of Hongjoong.

"I guess it does." Yunho managed to stutter out and Hongjoong nodded with him.

"Great, now Wooyoung and I don't have to listen to you talk about 'I really wanna date Hongjoong' anymore speeches." San joked with a laugh before leaving the kitchen with Jongho trailing behind. Mingi patted Yunho on the back one more time before following their maknae. 

Now that it was just them left at the table they could finally have a proper conversation. 

"Sorry, didn't know what I was thinking; doing something like that out of the blue." Hongjoong apologized, he actually did regret his decision. 

The look Yeosang gave him was one he had never seen before. The expression he had looked familiar, as if it was one that portrayed someone with a broken heart.  
Hongjoong had a feeling that Seonghwa and Yeosang probably had some sort of secret relationship just by the way they interacted or the way they looked at each other, but the fact that their reactions were either one of anger or hurt meant that something was most likely wrong. He shrugged it off though, he didn't want to get caught up in anything like that. In truth Hongjoong really wanted Seonghwa back but with the way Yunho was staring at him now and the way that Yunho reached over the table to hold his hand and rub his thumb soothingly over his had Hongjoong's heart racing.

Yunho shook his head. "I'm glad they know. I've always wanted to tell them that you're mine."  
Hongjoong knew now that the taller member was in love with him and it'd be healthier if he could just fall in love with Yunho too. 

~

Seonghwa sat in the practice room with Yeosang tapping his fingers on the wooden floor. They knew that no one would be coming in at this time and it was the perfect place where they could sneak around. But this time the atmosphere was different. Usually their lips would be locked and Yeosang would be pinned against the wall but instead they were just sitting in silence. 

"Yeosang."

"Hm?"

"Do you still like Yunho?"

The younger member was silent. He could admit right now that he was never in Seonghwa and just used him so that he could try to forget about his feelings for Yunho. He could end this entire fake relationship right now and just be honest but he couldn't. He couldn't admit it no matter how much he wanted to. Yeosang hadn't realized that tears were suddenly falling from his cheeks. He didn't realize how much his heart hurt just by the thought of Yunho and Hongjoong dating. Seonghwa looked over and grabbed his hand gently before speaking in a quiet tone.

"Hey... Do you want to stop this?" 

Yeosang shook his head and sniffled. 

"Why not?" 

"Because I love you..." Yeosang choked on his words and gazed down onto the floor. Seonghwa let out a sigh and brought the other into his arms. "Do you really?"

He nodded and kissed him, trying to force back his tears and forget about Yunho. The sound of the door opening had them pulling away from each other in an instant. Wooyoung stood at the doorway, he shut the door behind him and approached the two. 

"Yeosang." he bent down and stared at his friend. He watched a tear fall and without hesitation the sound of a slap echoed in the room. Yeosang felt his cheek, his eyes wide as Wooyoung grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. 

"What the hell are you doing?! Why are you here making out with Seonghwa?!" he pulled his friend up to his feet with him and held him by the collar of his shirt. 

"Wooyoung I-" 

"In love with Seonghwa my ass!" Wooyoung shook Yeosang. He knew his friend was lying to himself and he knew that it was hurting him.

"Wooyoung!" Seonghwa pulled him away. "Leave him alone, I know how Yeosang feels and he's smart enough to-"

Wooyoung shoved the vocalist away from him. He spent months watching the two sneak around and he's spent months listening to Yeosang talk about Yunho, and even cry over him. He had also spent hours last night listening to Yeosang talk about his feelings towards Seonghwa and it seemed as if they were forced out of his mouth. He was tired and sick of it all. The look that Yeosang gave Hongjoong earlier made something snap in Wooyoung and he wanted to make sure that they ended whatever relationship they had. 

"If anyone knows how Yeosang feels it's me! I can tell you that he's not even close to being in love with you, Seonghwa!" Wooyoung clenched his fists, doing his best to keep his hands to himself. "You've both just manipulated with each other! Seonghwa, you're clearly still in love with Hongjoong and it's the same with you! Just tell them how you feel and be honest with yourselves for once!"

"It's not that easy, Woo! You don't know how it feels to have someone so in love with someone else!"   
Wooyoung stopped himself from saying anything else. He stared at Yeosang before clicking his tongue and turning away from them. 

"You're right. I don't, but anyone with a brain can tell that you guys are doing the wrong thing."   
They watched him leave with the door slamming loudly behind him. Seonghwa ran his fingers through his hair and gave one last look at Yeosang before leaving the room. He caught Wooyoung by the sleeve of his shirt. When the dancer turned to him the vocalist gave an apologetic smile. 

"You look at him like he's your whole world, don't you?" Seonghwa gently brought Wooyoung's head closer to him so that their foreheads touched. "I'm sorry Wooyoung. I'll leave him alone. Not that'll make a difference but at least you'll know he's not sneaking around and kissing the wrong person." 

Wooyoung watched as Seonghwa returned to his room. He felt his chest and finally allowed tears to spill from his eyes when Yeosang walked out of the practice room. 

"I love you, but you'll never be mine..." Wooyoung whispered to himself and turned around to leave before Yeosang could notice him. He turned the corner and bumped into San. 

"Oh, sorry." the dancer tried to walk past him but San grabbed his wrist and turned him around so that they faced each other. 

"You're not cute when you cry." San pulled him into a tight hug. "I'm not going to let go until you stop."   
Wooyoung sniffled before he lost himself. Breaking down with tears staining the other's shirt.  
It was finally time to fall in love with the right person.


	5. The Sudden Taste of Your Lips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think I've come to the conclusion that this is going to be a long fic q - q

It didn't take long for Yeosang to turn the corner to find Wooyoung crying like a child in San's arms. He gave them a worried look before placing his hand on Wooyoung's back. 

"What's wrong?" Yeosang spoke quietly, he didn't feel comfortable talking with San around because he knew what Wooyoung was going to say.

He knew that he's just going to talk about how he's worried about his relationship with Seonghwa. Before the dancer could answer San did it for him. He basically pulled Wooyoung to the side and away from Yeosang while keeping a tight grip around him. 

"Don't worry, I've got it under control." San gave his usual smile before walking away with Wooyoung. 

Yeosang hated himself. He didn't want to be the reason that his best friend was crying. He felt terrible knowing that Wooyoung's eyes became such a shade of red because him, how he trembled in San's arms and how he screamed because he couldn't hold back his tears anymore. It was time to stop this whole fraud of a relationship.

Yeosang made his way back to the dorms. Just as he passed by the living room he found Hongjoong on the couch while Yunho stood in front of him. He watched from a distance as their leader grabbed Yunho by his shirt to bring him down for a kiss. Yeosang's heart sank, his throat suddenly dry and his eyes stinging again. He watched as the two suddenly became more intimate, Yunho's hands groping Hongjoong as they were now laying on the couch with the shorter member on top. Yeosang wanted to scream, to disturb them, to throw Hongjoong off and kiss Yunho himself but he could only run away and into his room. He found Seonghwa staring out the window, his forehead against the glass.

"How dramatic are you trying to be?" Yeosang sniffled and took a seat on his bed. 

"Is that what it looks like?" Seonghwa gave a fake laugh before turning around. Even though he was smiling anyone could tell how hurt he was just by looking at him. 

Yeosang shrugged. He didn't feel like talking anymore. He just wanted things to go back to how they were before. He wanted to just admire Yunho from a distance and he wanted Seonghwa and Hongjoong together. But that all just seemed like it was impossible now. Seonghwa approached the younger one and ruffled his hair gently.

"Hey, let's end this."

Yeosang nodded and looked up with a genuine smile this time. 

"I've been waiting for you to say that."

"Why couldn't you have just told me the truth?"

"I thought I'd be able to fall in love and forget about Yunho." 

"I guess you're never really able to forget about the one you really love." Seonghwa sighed to himself. 

He knew he missed Hongjoong. He knew he was still in love. Every night he would whisper his name and think about him, his body would heat up and he'd have Yeosang help him get the relief he needed; even though Seonghwa could only think of Hongjoong during those moments. Not once was he able to block off his thoughts of their leader. Yeosang took a deep breath before heading for the door. He looked at Seonghwa and smirked. 

"I'm not going to give up. I'm still in love with Yunho and I'm going to make sure he knows."

Seonghwa laughed and followed him out the door. "Shy little Yeosang is finally growing up."

"Shut up." the younger member punched his hyung's arm playfully and headed into the living room with him.   
They found Jongho and Mingi, the maknae was currently watching him play one of Yunho's games. It seemed like he was dying a lot while Jongho made fun of him. Mingi waved them over and handed a controller to Yeosang. 

"Jongho won't play with me and it's boring alone." 

"You just need Yeosang to help you beat the level." Jongho kicked Mingi's back which made the rapper press the wrong button and die. 

Both Seonghwa and Yeosang laughed before taking a seat on the couch beside Jongho. The visual of the group accepted the controller and casually began beating the level effortlessly. The three other members seemed impressed, watching him find secret paths or special weapons that boosted their stats. 

"Your play style reminds me of Yunho." Mingi commented as he struggled to defeat an enemy that was a lower level than him. 

Yeosang chuckled nervously with a blush creeping along his face. He actually spent nights playing with Yunho when nobody else would or just watched him until he fell asleep. He loved the moments when he'd wake up to find the oversized jacket around him or the times he'd pretend to be asleep in Yunho's arms when he was carried back to his room. 

"Hey! I can't believe you guys are playing without me!" they all turned their heads once they hear Yunho exclaim. His hair was a little messy while his shirt was all ruffled. 

Seonghwa eyed him as he took a seat on the floor beside Mingi after grabbing a controller. The familiar messy look was one that he knew well. The flushed face had given it away when the rapper commented on his appearence. Yeosang looked over at Seonghwa, he grinned at the vocalist before placing his legs over Yunho's shoulders to pull him over so that his back was leaning on the couch. He placed the controller on top of his head and continued to play the game with his legs still on Yunho. The taller didn't seem to mind since he was too immersed in the game and it was normal for Ateez to be affectionate with each other. 

"Hey, Yunho. Where's Hongjoong?"

"He's in his studio. He seems super into it though, he didn't even notice me leave." 

Seonghwa was silent. He got up and walked away from the group that was now yelling out of excitement when Yunho mentioned that they should play Mario Party instead. The vocalist was a tad ticked off. Or maybe he was just jealous. He knew that Hongjoong never really wanted anyone in his studio unless he had to show them something. It was rare for even Seonghwa to stay in there with him and usually it was only because he persuaded their leader with kisses or other things. Just as he turned to the hallway that led to the studio Hongjoong was already stepping out. 

"Seonghwa?" 

The vocalist stared at him. His heart pounding, realizing how much he missed staring at the leader. He admired his smile, his eyes and even the the way his clothes were too baggy for him. He missed watching Hongjoong pick out his piercings every morning and he missed holding those tiny hands. Seonghwa moved towards him, his speed picking up until his arms found their way around him. They stumbled back and hit the door but the vocalist still didn't let go. Hongjoong could hear the sniffles and feel the way his body trembled ever so slightly.

"Wh-what's wrong?!" Hongjoong asked out of concern. He hugged him back but thought nothing of it until Seonghwa was staring at him. 

"Hongjoong... I-I just..." he couldn't say it. He couldn't just say that he loved him, that he wanted him back and that he wanted to kiss him until the sky grew dark. Seonghwa was lost already. Staring into they younger one's eyes and feeling their hands intertwine once again. "Nothing, nevermind."

"Seonghwa... You're-"

"I know..." Seonghwa focused his gaze on the floor. "I know..." he repeated in a quieter tone before attempting to walk away. 

Hongjoong stopped him, a worried look on his face. His grip on the other's wrist was firm, basically saying that he wouldn't let go until Seonghwa told him what was wrong. The vocalist continued to wipe his tears away until his sleeve was damp. The shorter member soon began wiping his tears away for him, turning Seonghwa towards him so that they stared at each other. 

"You're still such a crybaby." 

Hongjoong felt like he wanted to kiss him. Like it would be the right thing to do but he could hear the faint laughter and shouts from Yunho but the noise cancelled out when Seonghwa leaned down and kissed the side of his lips. The red head's eyes grew wide and just as the vocalist pulled away Hongjoong wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Seonghwa's heart exploded, the familiar taste of his lips, the light scent of his usual shampoo and the hands that he missed so much held onto him so tightly that it had him going crazy. 

Hongjoong couldn't find a way to stop. Seonghwa's kiss was so much different compared to Yunho. He loved the way Seonghwa got rough near the end, the way you'd be able to tell that he was lost in the moment by how messy the kiss got and how Seonghwa had him pinned to the door with his leg in between the younger one's. The vocalist nibbled his neck while his hand found a way under Hongjoong's shirt. 

"Wait- n-no! I can't do this..." Hongjoong whispered and pushed the other away. 

"Why not?" Seonghwa was out of breath along with Hongjoong, he kissed him again but it didn't last as long as he had hoped. 

"I'm with Yun-" 

"Hongjoong?" 

Seonghwa turned to the sound of the voice. Yunho stood at the end of the hallway, his expression made him look so broken that Seonghwa felt as if a knife stabbed him out of the guilt. He moved away from their leader, unable to say anything. 

"What are you?.. Why are you guys?.." Yunho couldn't speak properly, he wasn't sure if he should be hurt or angry. He ran his fingers through his hair while forcing out a laugh. "Don't answer, you were obviously making out." 

He made his way towards them and roughly pulled Hongjoong away from Seonghwa. 

"Wait Yunho-" 

Another rough tug made Hongjoong hiss in pain. Seonghwa hit his against the wall once they were out of sight. He cursed to himself before heading back into the living room where he found everyone playing games. Well everyone other than Hongjoong and Yunho. 

Yunho shoved Hongjoong into their room and kicked the door closed. He locked it before pushing the leader onto the bed. Hongjoong tried to get up but the taller member was already on top and forcing his tongue into his mouth. 

"Stop! Yunho!" He continued to nip and bite the other's neck even though Hongjoong kicked him. 

"I'm serious-!" Hongjoong's eyes widened. He stopped himself from saying anything else when he finally got a clear look of Yunho's face. Tears streamed down his face and droplets fell onto his own shirt. 

"Why can't it be me? Why does it have to be him? Why do you have to go back to the one that hurt you?!" Yunho's voice faltered and cracked. "I'm the one that loves you! I love you! I love you! I'm in love with you, Hongjoong!" 

Yunho let his head fall onto the crook of the other's neck. Hongjoong hesitated but he wrapped his arms around him and brought him as close to him as he could. 

"Hey... Stop crying, I'm sorry..." 

Yunho didn't accept the apology. 

Hongjoong still didn't say 'I love you' back.


	6. Surrendering To Your Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hongjoong finally made his decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS IT  
IM GOING TO BREAK YUNHOS HEART NEXT TIME  
AND PLEASE EXCUSE MY SMUT  
AHHHHHH
> 
> also feel free to talk to me on Twitter uwu  
I'm desperate for atiny friends qq
> 
> @kaiwauso

Hongjoong slowly wiped Yunho’s tears away. He pulled him in for a soft kiss and managed to flip them over. He couldn’t stand seeing him like this. He moved down until his was in between Yunho’s legs, he kissed him through his shorts and smiled once he locked eyes with the other. 

“You don’t have to- ah!” Hongjoong had already pulled down Yunho’s boxers, taking his cock into his mouth and feeling it grow. He began to bob his head slowly, licking the base to the tip with his tongue. Yunho bucked his hips forward while a moan escaped his lips. He moved away and wiped the drool that dripped from the side of his mouth with a grin. He actually loved the view, Yunho had his hand covering his eyes while he let out slow breaths, his shirt hiked up and exposing his stomach. Hongjoong licked his lips. He hadn’t realized how beautiful Yunho looked when he was a mess, and it was only a sight that Hongjoong could see.

“Yunho...” Hongjoong called out for him. He leaned down and captured his lips with such a hunger that Yunho barely processed it. Their teeth hitting each other lightly and Hongjoong’s tongue trying to find any sort of access into his mouth. Their hips moved against each other frantically.

Hongjoong moved away to kiss the other’s cheek, he grinned and whispered.

“I want you to fuck me.” and his trademark laugh rang through Yunho’s ears. 

Yunho was quick to flip them over. His fingers already working on Hongjoong’s pants and throwing them to the side. His cock twitched upon seeing how the other licked his fingers to prod his own entrance. His small fingers attempting to push as far as he could into his own ass. Hongjoong was flexible, thanks to dancing and well- Seonghwa. He kept his legs in the air as he continued to fuck his own ass with his fingers. Yunho watched, basically in a trance. He gulped before pushing his own two fingers inside his leader. 

“Ah! Yunho! Fuck- your fingers feel so good!” Hongjoong threw his head back. 

“Then scream for me.” Yunho’s eyes darkened, he couldn’t help but remember seeing Hongjoong’s clouded eyes when Seonghwa had him pinned to the wall. He pushed his fingers deeper in and moved them at a rough pace, making the shorter one gasp and moan. 

Yunho continued his actions as he hovered over Hongjoong to grab the bottle of lube from his own drawer. He removed his fingers to flip the other so that his ass was in the air and his face was against a pillow. 

He poured the cold liquid down Hongjoong’s ass, scissoring his entrance with his fingers. Hongjoong shrieked, his hips bucking forward until Yunho kept them in place with his hands. His grip so tight and his hands so easily wrapping around his tiny waist. 

“Please... Just put in...” Hongjoong mumbled against the pillow as he grinded his ass against Yunho’s cock. 

“You’re so impatient...” Yunho quickly poured the lube over his own length before pushing into Hongjoong. He took it slowly at first, allowing the other breathe and take it all in.

“You’re mine Joong, you need to understand that!" Yunho gasped as he began to move his hips at a rough pace. 

With every thrust it pushed Hongjoong forward, his own hips trying to match the same pace. His fingers clutched the sheets, a string of drool falling from his mouth and staining the covers. Yunho shoved his cock as far as he could, fucking Hongjoong until he was a screaming mess. 

“I want Seonghwa to hear your voice, I want him to hear you scream for me.” Yunho leaned down and bit hard onto Hongjoong’s shoulder before licking up the hint of blood. Just as Hongjoong felt the familiar heat in the pit of his stomach he felt Yunho pull out. Before he could scold him he felt his body effortlessly pulled up by his wrist and pushed against the door. Yunho pushed himself back in and continued the same pace.  
Hongjoong’s nails scratched onto the door, trying to find any sort of leverage. Yunho held onto the other’s hips as their skin continued to slap against each other. Both their voices creating and echoing melody in the room.

“Yu-Yunhooo!” Hongjoong had his tongue out and his eyes rolling back. The feeling of Yunho’s cock deep inside him had his entire mind on a high. He couldn’t think of anything else, only the need of having Yunho come inside him. He continued to beg him without caring how loud he was. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, I’m so close!” Hongjoong pushed his own hips against the other.

Yunho pulled him away from the door and onto the ground now. He placed himself on his knees while he had the shorter member in the same position from the bed. His hands balled into fists as he continued to find his own release. 

“A-ah, gonna come...” Yunho mumbled as he snapped his hips into Hongjoong. 

“Yunho, please! Come inside me!” Hongjoong begged and that was all he needed. Strings of white shot out of his own cock as Yunho filled his entrance with his own seed. The white essence spilling out from the side as the taller member continued to lazily rut against him, riding out his own orgasm. 

“Hah... You came lots again...” Hongjoong smiled, he slowly propped himself up as Yunho pulled out. The two cleaned everything up before falling onto the same bed. 

Hongjoong cuddled up against Yunho’s chest. He mindlessly played with the other’s shirt before looking up and seeing how lovingly the other stared at him. A soft smile on his face and bright eyes that looked like he was going to cry again.

“Don’t start.” the leader sighed.

“Sorry,” Yunho sniffled and brought his arms around Hongjoong. “I’m just so happy right now.” 

Hongjoong closed his eyes and breathed in.

He missed Seonghwa’s scent.  
~ 

Seonghwa was frozen at the door. He felt like the entire world just crashed around him. He heard Hongjoong scream, he heard the name he was calling and he heard the sounds of ecstasy. He covered his mouth before backing away slowly and hitting the wall behind him. He fell to the floor and covered his face before tears spilled from his eyes. He gritted his teeth, doing his best to stop them but it didn’t work. He hated himself. He hated Yunho. 

The door suddenly opened. His head snapped up to see Hongjoong standing there. Yunho’s oversized shirt on him. The red head’s eyes widened and he shut the door behind him quickly. The sight of a shirtless Yunho in Hongjoong’s bed was only for a split second but it still stabbed Seonghwa in his heart. 

“Seonghwa? What are you doing..?” Hongjoong kneeled down to push the other’s bangs to the side and wipe away a single tear with his thumb. 

“I-I don’t know... I don’t know anymore, Hongjoong...”  
Hongjoong frowned, he helped the other up to his feet but avoided eye contact. 

“Come on... Let’s go talk somewhere else.” he led Seonghwa into his studio and the locked the door behind him. The entire walk there was quiet but maybe the two hadn’t realized that they held hands the whole way there.  
~

The two stood across from each other, the atmosphere crushing the both of them. Hongjoong crossed his arms and stared the other down. He knew what Seonghwa was feeling. He knew that the vocalist was still in love with him. But he knew that he couldn’t just leave Yunho. Seonghwa approached him, he cupped his cheek hesitantly before attempting to pull him in for a kiss.

Hongjoong slapped his hand away and stepped back. 

"Stop it."

"Why?"

"Because... I'm with Yunho now." the younger one looked away.

"But you're still in love with me." Seonghwa said it with zero hesitation. "And I'm still in love with you."

Hongjoong bit his bottom lip to stop it from quivering. 

He looked back at the vocalist and his expression broke Hongjoong's heart. It was the same look that he had when he broke up with him. His eyes watery, his mouth trembling and his hands balled into fists in an attempt to keep them at his sides. 

"Don't look at me with such a hurt expression. You're the one that broke up with me." 

Hongjoong poked Seonghwa's chest, the vocalist instantly grabbing his hand and intertwining their fingers gently. 

"Then don't look at me with tears in your eyes." 

Hongjoong's eyes widened before he felt a tear slowly fall down his cheek. He furrowed his brows, trying to look angry but it only made him burst into a crying mess. He fell into Seonghwa's arms and held onto him like his life depended on it. He missed this, he missed everything about Seonghwa.

"I love you, Seonghwa. I love you so much."

Hongjoong repeated his words. He couldn't stop himself. His heart wanted jump out of his chest when Seonghwa said the same words back to him. He waited months to hear them again and it felt so right to be in his arms. 

"I have to tell Yunho..."

"Mhm..." Seonghwa closed his eyes as he held Hongjoong in his arms. He took in the scent of strawberries from the shampoo he always used and nuzzled his face into his hair. 

Hongjoong let out a shaky breath. He just had sex with Yunho and now he had to break his heart. He held onto the shirt he wore and the light scent of Yunho lingered around him.

He really wished that he had fallen in love with him instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why did joong have sex and then suddenly go back to seonghwa
> 
> because it made yunho feel good before all the future heart ache q - q


	7. You Actually Love Me Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> San really just tends to pop up out of no where to make Wooyoung feel better after such depressing conversations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's so sad :^(
> 
> but i swear the fluff is coming just hang on guys q w q

Wooyoung watched as Hongjoong and Seonghwa stepped into their leader’s studio. Once he heard the sound of the lock he made his way to the room Hongjoong and Yunho shared. He knocked on the door before hearing the taller member calling him to come in. He stepped in and found Yunho sitting on the edge of Hongjoong’s bed. 

“Wooyoung? What are you doing here?” 

Wooyoung bit his bottom lip at seeing how happy Yunho looked. Of course he would be, he was finally together with the one person he’s loved for almost a year. But he knew it wasn’t meant to last, he knew that their leader had just used him. It wasn’t the best thing he’d done but maybe Hongjoong did it without realizing. Wooyoung took a seat on Yunho’s bed across from him. He played with his fingers, unsure of how to start the conversation. The dancer wanted to ask about how Yunho felt about his relationship.

“I just wanted to ask you a question.” he gave him a fake smile. 

“What is it?” Yunho leaned back casually. 

Wooyoung took a deep breath before saying everything. He wasn’t going to hide anything and he wasn’t going to try and hide the fact that Hongjoong and Seonghwa were in the studio right now with the door locked.

“Listen, Yunho. What I’m going to say isn’t going to be anything nice.” 

“Okay?” Yunho gave him a confused expression, unsure if he should be taking the situation seriously but the look on Wooyoung’s face already gave him the answer. 

“About you relationship with Hongjoong... Do you think he really loves you?” 

The silence between them drove Wooyoung crazy. He looked up to see Yunho laughing but he could see his eyes watering. The taller member ran his fingers through his hair, letting it sit on his head as he kept a smile on his face. 

“No. I know he doesn’t.” Yunho’s voice cracked. “He still loves Seonghwa and I know that’s not going to change.” he was still smiling even though he wanted to break down.

“Then why..?” 

“Because I love him so much... Because just the feeling of him in my arms is enough for me.” Yunho threw his head into his hands, his body trembling and leaning forward so that his elbows rested on his thighs. “Even though he doesn’t love me I can at least cherish the moments I have with him now.”

Wooyoung let out a sigh before getting up and heading for the door. He took one last look at Yunho before apologizing and leaving the room. On the way back to his own room his mind was spinning with countless thoughts that he felt almost dizzy. Yunho wanted to continue his relationship with Hongjoong even though he knew how the other really felt. God, this really felt like deja vu. Just as he reached his room his phone vibrated. Yeosang had texted him. 

Yeo <3: can i talk to you about something?

Wooyoung: sure

Yeo <3: come to my room

Wooyoung groaned and turned on his heel. He walked into Yeosang’s room without knocking. Yeosang had his back turned on the bed, he had his headphones in and he was mindlessly scrolling through his phone. The dancer smirked before closing the door and suddenly jumping onto the bed and hugging Yeosang from the back. The other let out a small shriek before lightly shoving Wooyoung off of him. He pulled his headphones out and set them aside along with his phone.

“So what am I here for?” Wooyoung continued to be his happy self in front of Yeosang despite their little incident before. 

“I just wanted to ask... What were you doing in Yunho’s room earlier?” 

“Ah...” 

Wooyoung paused, he should’ve known that he was being watched by his friend. His smile slowly turned into a frown as his eyes looked away from Yeosang’s face. He cleared his throat before moving back a bit and sitting cross legged. 

“Nothing interesting. Was just asking him how it was going with Hongjoong.”

Yeosang’s eyes widened but he kept himself composed. “So? What’d he say?”

“He said that he knew about how Hongjoong is still in love with Seonghwa.”

“And?”

“He’s going to stay with him.” 

The words hit Yeosang harder than he expected. He felt like his heart didn’t beat anymore and the room around him suddenly began to spin. He didn’t know what he was expecting but hearing the words from someone else just made him realize the truth even more. That no matter what Yunho would be in love with Hongjoong. He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry but he didn’t. He sucked in the air but it still felt like he couldn’t breathe. 

“I’m sorry Yeosang. You deserve so much more... You deserve someone that loves you more than anything else.”

Yeosang managed to let out a strangled laugh. “Like who?”

‘Like me.’ Wooyoung wanted to say it. He wanted to tell him how’s he felt for 5 years.

“No one would love me.” Yeosang said it so quietly that Wooyoung thought he heard him wrong. 

“Shut up.”

Yeosang looked up, ready to say some snarky comment back but he felt the other place his hand over his mouth and suddenly Wooyoung moved closer, kissing the back of his own hand. Yeosang sat still until the dancer moved away. 

“I love you, Yeosang.” he wasn’t smiling, it was more of an expression that was mixed with hurt and anger. “More than you could ever imagine.”

Yeosang gritted his teeth and looked away, staring down at the floor as he felt the bed shift. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I can’t love you the same way.” Yeosang apologized, feeling his lips as if Wooyoung had actually kissed him.

“It’s fine, I’ve always known that.” and even though Wooyoung had closed the door gently, the sound hurt Yeosang’s ears. He couldn’t breathe again. That confession sounded empty to him, like those words weren’t even the truth. He felt so alone when the sound of rain drops began to hit the large window in front of him. He stared at his own reflection from the glass. He could only imagine that Yunho was behind him with his arms around his smaller frame.

~

The dancer dragged his feet all the way back to his room. His entire body felt heavy, usually when you confess your feelings to someone people would say that a weight was lifted but it felt like the complete opposite. Wooyoung suddenly felt someone pull him by the hem of his shirt. He turned around with such haste, that he didn’t even see who it was until a pair of lips were gently pressed against his own. His first thought was Yeosang, but pulling away he found San staring at him. They stared at each other before San slowly kissed him again. Pulling him closer by the collar of his shirt. Wooyoung didn’t back away. His lips tasted of sweet chocolate and for some reason he was enjoying it. He loved the way San moved his hands down until they were around his waist and the way that he kissed him was so loving and gentle. His first thought was to stop him but he couldn’t because it just felt like finally something was going right. Like kissing San wasn’t wrong. 

“You love Yeosang, don’t you?” San pushed Wooyoung against the door and whispered to him. 

“Yeah...” Wooyoung gasped when the other gave a small lick to his neck.

“Then why don’t you stop me?” San managed to open the door and the two stumbled in, Wooyoung almost falling back but he was caught by the other. 

San kicked the door closed but kept his lips locked with Wooyoung. He pushed his back onto the bed so that he was on top, kissing his cheek, lips and nibbling his neck with hands roaming Wooyoung’s body. San had his knee propped up onto the bed and in between the younger one’s legs. 

“I don’t want to stop you, I don’t know why...” 

“Because you love me too.”

Wooyoung couldn’t even figure out if that was the truth. His heart was still beating with thoughts of Yeosang but the fact that he couldn’t push San away had him thinking that maybe he’d thrown away those feelings a long time ago. That he had just been in love with the idea of him being with his best friend. Yeosang was his whole world, but only because he had been there with him for so long. It felt like it’d take Wooyoung a while to finally figure out his feelings San didn’t care, he’d wait an eternity for Wooyoung to fall for him. Besides, he’s waited so long already.

San laughed into their kiss and Wooyoung ended up giggling. 

Maybe they’d been in love with each other all this time without realizing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY A HAPPY COUPLE WAS FORMED   
But everyone else is still pretty depressed oops-


	8. Truth Untold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hongjoong finally tells Yunho.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YALL WERE SCREAMING FOR WOOSAN SO ILL TRY TO GIVE SOME MORE WOOSAN

Wooyoung tangled his fingers into San’s hair, his lips refusing to pull away and his hips moving on their own. San kissed him harder, their tongues finding each other. He only pulled away to give Wooyoung a second to breathe before capturing his lips again. He waited so long for this moment, he’s waited so long to taste him, to hold him in this way and to feel him kiss back with such need. San slowly began palming the other through his pants but the sudden sound of the door opening made Wooyoung push him away in an instant. He sat up to find their maknae staring at them, his eyes wide but he quickly shook it off and walked into the room. He was smirking to himself, ready to tease his hyungs. 

“Ever heard of knocking?” San stood up from the floor and took a seat beside Wooyoung.

“But it’s my room.” Jongho glared at him. 

San raised his hands up as if he was surrendering and laughed. “Whoops, you’re right.” he checked the clock and got up, winking at Wooyoung before making his way to the door.

“It’s getting late, I’ll see you tomorrow Young.” 

Wooyoung watched him leave and felt his face heat up. His heart was racing so fast that he didn’t realize that he had a huge smile on his face. Jongho cleared his throat which startled the older one. Wooyoung pouted when the maknae sat down beside him.

“It would’ve been nice if you knocked.”

Jongho rolled his eyes before flicking Wooyoung on the forehead.  
~  
It was getting late and Hongjoong still wasn’t back. Sure it wasn’t unusual for their leader to be falling asleep in his studio rather than their comfy bed but he had told Yunho that he’d be back before midnight. It was an hour passed that time. He tossed and turned, trying to force himself to sleep but he had gotten used to holding Hongjoong close to him that the bed felt cold and empty. Even with the countless pillows around him. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, flicking the lamp on and listening to the rain for a while. It was soothing to him but he couldn’t get his mind off Hongjoong and what he could be doing. It’s not like he didn’t trust him, but his conversation with Wooyoung made him open his eyes. Yunho slowly made his way to the studio, not caring how late it was and not caring that if he was caught he’d probably get scolded. 

‘Do you think he really loves you?’ the sentence reepeated endlessly in Yunho’s mind. Even though Hongjoong didn’t share the same feelings there was no way he’d cheat on him, right? He wasn’t that type of person. He stood in front of the door to his studio and took a deep breath before jiggling the doorknob. It was locked. He hesitated a bit before quietly knocking.

"Hongjoong? Are you awake?" 

He heard shuffling around the room before the door unlocked and opened. His mouth went dry when Seonghwa was the one beside the door and staring at him. He looked behind him to find Hongjoong passed out at his desk, his macbook closed in front of him and a blanket around him. He pushed past the vocalist and carefully picked up Hongjoong bridal style. The rapper scrunched his nose and mumbled the lyrics to one of their songs before nuzzling his face into Yunho's chest. Yunho gave one last look at Seonghwa before basically speed walking back to their room. The vocalist wiped his lips before shutting the lights off and returning to his own room. 

Yunho set Hongjoong down into his own bed. He stared at him and he suddenly felt so empty inside. A mix of anger and depression is what he would explain his feelings. He clicked his tongue and lightly shook the smaller member. Hongjoong slapped him away at first but ended up opening his eyes when Yunho began calling out his name several times. He groaned and turned away but still answered. 

"What is it?" he grumbled while slapping Yunho's hand again since the younger one was still shaking him by his leg. 

"What was Seonghwa doing with you in the studio? And why was it locked?" 

Hongjoong shifted and stared at the wall through half lidded eyes. He didn't want to reply but he'd have to. He could just lie to Yunho. It was easy but it still hurt Hongjoong more than you could imagine. His breathing became unsteady, with Yunho he didn't mind kissing him or anything but with Seonghwa he was in love. Deeply in love. He heard Yunho sniffle. Hongjoong sat up and looked at the other, his lips were quivering and his brows were furrowed. He repeated the question but with a quieter voice this time.

Hongjoong opened his mouth to speak, to tell the truth. That he made out with Seonghwa and that they almost went all the way until the alarm on his macbook let him know that it was time to work on the song again. But no words could come out. He could only stare at Yunho with his mouth slightly opened, he managed to stammer out a few words but they were irrelevant. 

"I'm sorry, Yunho." Hongjoong finally started after what felt like a year of silence in the room. He reached his hand out but Yunho stepped back and slapped it away. 

"Don't say it, please." 

His voice was a plea. A strangled sentence that made his tears finally fall. He finally had Hongjoong all to himself but now he'd be alone again. He gritted his teeth and shook his head, begging Hongjoong not to finish whatever he was going to say. This isn't worth it, Yunho thought to himself. It's not worth losing him, he could live his life not caring if Hongjoong didn't love him back because at least, like this he could hold him. Even with a fake relationship he still had the pleasure of the lie Hongjoong gave him. He could still kiss him and touch him. With trembling hands he grabbed Hongjoong's smaller one. He stared into his eyes and tried to look for any sort of hint that this was all just a lie and that he was pulling a cruel joke on him but Hongjoong looked away. 

"I'm in love with Seonghwa. I'm sorry for giving you the impression that we could work out... I tried to fall in love with you. I really did." he stuttered out, tripping over his words countless times because it hurt too much to finally say it. "But we just won't work out. Not when I'm like this..." Hongjoong couldn't look at him anymore. He didn't want to see Yunho's face. 

"Hah... I should've known better." Yunho let out a laugh. "Don't apologize, I'll be fine. Besides, I've been fine all those past months anyways." he leaned closer to Hongjoong, tilting his head towards him before pushing his bangs to the side and kissing his forehead. "Goodnight, Hongjoong." and with that he left the room.

Yunho walked aimlessly through the hallway while his hands constantly wiped tears away. He found his way into the living room and fell onto the couch with his head in his hands; wishing that Hongjoong came after him. Wishing that he could feel his warmth again but it wasn't going to happen. No matter how hard he wished. 

The room was dimly lit with the TV that someone forgot to turn off again. Probably Mingi, Yunho thought. He stared at the screen unable to think properly. He could only feel a series of sharp pains in his heart and his stomach twisting, making him feel like throwing up. It hurt. It really did. The fact that he spent months watching Seonghwa and Hongjoong be the perfect couple already destroyed him; and now when he finally had him after so long, Seonghwa had to take him back. He hated himself for not being able to hold himself back and he hated himself for even thinking that it would work out. 

"I'm such an idiot..." Yunho mumbled and leaned back on the couch, looking up at the ceiling. The sudden sound of a whirring noise had him looking around instantly. He looked back up to feel a piece of tissue fall on his face. He grabbed it and moved it away to find a drone above him. He blinked a couple of times before letting out a choked laugh. It was Yeosang's drone. He used the tissue to wipe away his tears while the drone gently landed onto the coffee table in front of him.

"You should be asleep, Yeosang." Yunho turned his head to the hallway to find Yeosang walking towards him with the controller in his hand.  
Yunho could tell that his smile was sympathetic. 

"The rain was too loud." the visual of the group explained as he took a seat beside Yunho. "Why aren't you asleep?" 

Yunho shrugged. He wanted to sleep in all honesty but he didn't want to be in the same room with Hongjoong after what happened. It'd be too painful and maybe a little awkward. 

"Your eyes are red." Yeosang commented.

"Thanks." Yunho let out a genuine laugh and the mood felt a little lighter. 

The two sat quietly as the rain continued to tap on the glass window. The atmosphere was comforting even though words weren't exchanged as much. 

"It's going to be okay, Hongjoong is too short for you." the usual teasing comment Yeosang made had Yunho finally smiling properly. 

The sounds of the TV and rain became distant as Yunho's eyes began fluttering closed. He mumbled out a 'thank you' before giving into the sleep that he needed. Yeosang watched him with a grin and admired the way that he lightly rocked back and forth before finally falling back onto the couch. He looked around for a blanket but ended up covering him with his hoodie even though it wasn't big enough. Yeosang blushed at the sight of Yunho, he was lightly snoring but he had a smile on his face. His body seemed less stiff than before. He stared a bit before placing a knee back onto the couch and leaning in. Yeosang stopped himself just as their lips ghosted against each other. He moved his head so that he just kissed the side of his lips. Yeosang smiled to himself and walked away. 

Yunho blinked a couple of times. He stared at the direction of the hallway and felt his mouth. His face heated up and his heart sounded so loud in his chest. 

Why was he so flustered? 

~ 

Wooyoung could feel the weight of someone squishing him with their arms. He groggily woke up to San snuggling his face into his hair. He struggled against his grasp quietly while not wanting to wake up Jongho. 

Finally he kicked San's leg.

"What's wrong?" the older asked as he pulled away slightly to stare at his face. 

"What are you doing here? How did you-?" Wooyoung was instantly stopped by San's lips. He parted to shush him the kiss his neck as softly as he could. 

"You're too loud, you'll wake up Jongho." his hand snaked down and into Wooyoung's sweats. His lips formed a mischievous smirk as he took the other's length into his hand. 

"Already hard?"

"Shut up..." Wooyoung breathed as San began moving his hand. His moans were quiet but the other could hear them and he savored his voice. 

San stayed at a slow pace not wanting to start a frenzy of lust. He knows himself, if Wooyoung turned into a mess from the pleasure he'd ravage him in a second. He rubbed his thumb over the tip, trailing the pre come down to the base of his cock before moving his hand again. Wooyoung let his head fall onto the crook of San's neck, quietly begging him for more. His hips bucking into San's hand in an attempt to go faster. 

"San..." Wooyoung repeated his name as if it was the only word he knew. 

The older of the two could feel his entire body warm up, he actually felt like he wanted to cry out of happiness. 

"Wooyoung..." San tilted the other's head up and kissed him. 

"San..." he stared at him with clouded eyes but still smiled so sweetly. 

God, he loved Wooyoung. 

Little did they know Jongho was awake with his hand over his mouth and cursing himself that he didn't get out of bed earlier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanna add some mingi/jongho content but the happy fluff is coming just gimme a few more chapters-


	9. Slowly But Surely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHH CAN I SAY HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU GUYS FOR SUPPORTING THIS STORY?  
Like really, you guys are so nice and sweet and really hype me up to write more!  
I'm sorry that I update slow, writers block can really hit you with a confusing story like this but! You guys help me push on and I thank you all for your support <3
> 
> I hope that I won't disappoint you guys!
> 
> Anyways! Everything is coming together now! Well at least couple wise if i do say so myself uwu in the future i'll do my best to add more for the neglected couples because this was actually supposed to be SeongJoong centered but it's slowly becoming more of Yunho thing??? Anyways, let's go YunSang! q w q
> 
> (tons of SeongJoong coming up tho because they're my otp and I want to write more about them uwu) //hopefully ;;

Mingi found Yunho passed out on the couch with a Thrasher hoodie on top of him. He scratched his head a bit confused as to why he was sleeping on the couch anyways, Mingi was usually one of the last people to wake up but the crashing thunder outside woke him up and he wasn’t able to fall back asleep. He shook his friend and called his name out. Yunho blinked a couple of times and stretched out with a yawn. He rubbed one of his eyes until they focused on a clear view of Mingi.

“Dude, why aren’t you sleeping in your room with your boyfriend?” he teased him.

“Boyfriend?” Yunho laughed quietly and shook his head, “not anymore, just my roommate...” he covered his mouth, remembering how painful it was to hear the words from Hongjoong. “Just a friend... Just a leader to me.”

Mingi’s mischievous smirk faded away into a thin line before mumbling out an apology and taking a seat beside his friend.

“That was probably your shortest relationship.”

“I don’t think I’d call it that. Maybe it was just a friends with benefits thing.”

“Damn.” Mingi was actually terrible in these situations. He never actually knew how to cheer up his friend but somehow Yunho always felt better in the end. 

Yunho looked out the window then to the clock. It felt like it was still the middle of the night even though it was nearing 6 AM. He finally noticed the hoodie on him, he picked it up and stared at the flaming logo. A sudden blush creeping on his cheeks. He remembered the sensations of Yeosang’s soft lips kissing him ever so gently. Was that an act of love or friendship? Ateez was known to kiss each other on the cheek so he wouldn’t know, and he wasn’t about to ask Yeosang. The sound of thunder shook Yunho out of his thoughts, he looked over at Mingi and could see him spacing out but it seemed as if he was slightly trembling. 

“Pft, are you scared of the thunder?” Yunho couldn’t help but laugh at how much of a scaredy cat Mingi was.

“N-no, just thinking about stuff.” 

“Sure.” 

Mingi stared at his friend, easily figuring out how fake that smile was or how sad his eyes looked. They seemed faded to him rather than bright and sparkly like they always were. He took a deep breath before and gently grabbed his friend’s hand, squeezing it as tightly as he could to stop it from shaking.

“I know it hurts, but you’ll be okay. You always end up okay.” 

Yunho gave a short nod, more tears threatening to come out but his eyes stung too much. That was enough crying over Hongjoong. He wasn’t going to spend another couple months crying over one person, even though he wasn’t sure he could do it; it was maybe time to move on. He had told himself that Hongjoong would be the only one for him but at this rate he’d end up dying alone if he kept believing that. Yunho closed his eyes and leaned onto Mingi’s shoulder, relaxing his entire body and enjoying the company of his best friend. The rapper smiled and let his own head lean on top of Yunho’s. Like every other time Mingi cheered him up, Yunho was relaxed and felt like himself again. Even if it was only one sentence it felt like something was lifted and Yunho was thankful for Mingi. His eyes felt heavy again and before he knew it he was asleep again, a hand clutching onto Yeosang’s hoodie and Mingi’s hand. 

~

The smell of sizzling bacon and eggs woke the both of them up in an instant. The two were wrapped up in a large blanket and their hands still held each other tightly. They finally let go and stretched their entire body out in unison. The TV was playing a cartoon that Yunho wasn’t familiar with while both Wooyoung and San sat on the other couch looking like that were really enjoying it. 

“Morning.” Mingi heard Jongho mumble beside him. 

“You don’t look so good.” the rapper commented.

The maknae didn’t even have his hair done, it was still a full bed head and he was still in his sleeping clothes. 

“I didn’t get much sleep.”

“Why?”

“I was really uncomfortable.” Jongho glanced over at the couple that looked over back at him. 

Wooyoung rubbed the nape of his neck and coughed while San was smiling away, his arm around the other’s waist to pull him closer. Jongho pouted but let them be, they seemed so happy anyways. 

“Has anyone seen my hoodie?” Yeosang walked into the living room, his eyes obviously trying to avoid Yunho. 

“Which one? You have like thousands- you’re wearing one right now!” Wooyoung walked over to his friend and pulled the strings, making them too long for Yeosan’gs liking.

“I know but I’m missing one of my favourite ones.”

“Oh, you mean this one?” Yunho moved the blanket off of him to reveal the wrinkled Thrasher hoodie.

Yeosang forgot that he left it on him. He coughed awkwardly and pulled his hood together to cover his mouth and cheeks, hoping that they wouldn’t notice his face becoming a shade of red. Yunho handed it to him with a smile.

“Thanks. It kept me warm last night.”

“No problem.” Yeosang grabbed it and Yunho gulped at the sight of his lips. He looked away and over to the direction of the kitchen.

“Wow, what smells so good?”

“Seonghwa and Hongjoong are cooking right now.” San said as he pulled Wooyoung into his lap.

“Can you not do that in front of us?” Yeosang stuck his tongue out to them.

“You’re just jealous.” San repeated the action like a child.

“Yeah, I’m really jealous that I can’t sit on your lap.”

Laughter filled the room over their conversation. Both Yeosang and Wooyoung made eye contact with each other. The dancer smiled like he always did but it felt real. It felt genuine and it felt like Yeosang hadn’t seen him smile like that for so long. He missed it. They were okay and he was thankful for San because he was able to make Wooyoung happier than he’s ever seen him. He still remembered his friend’s love confession towards him but he was just glad that it didn’t destroy their friendship or anything. You could say it was all because of San that Wooyoung was okay. 

“You can sit in my lap.” Mingi joked as he spread his arms out towards Yeosang.

“Yeah, no thanks.” the visual of the group said without hesitation and left the room leaving Yunho, Wooyoung and San laughing.

Jongho puffed his cheeks out and let out a sigh before stomping away. San seemed a bit shocked at their maknae’s reaction. 

“Is he mad at us?” 

“I don’t think so.” Wooyoung moved off of San, afraid that Jongho didn’t like their open affection. 

But that really wasn’t the case. Mingi left the room in a hurry to catch up to Jongho. He grabbed the boy’s wrist to turn him around before he could step into his room. The maknae was still pouting like a child that the rapper couldn’t help but squish his cheeks.

“Shtop it.” Jongho moved away from his grasp.

“What’s wrong?”

No reply.

“Are you jealous? You know it was a joke. I wouldn’t let anyone but you-” Mingi’s sentence was cut off by Jongho’s lips. 

His eyes widened in surprise as the younger one managed to push him onto the wall and pin him there. Both his hands locked around Mingi’s wrists. Jongho didn’t move away until he was satisfied. The rapper stared down when Jongho let him go and his entire face burned a bright red. Mingi suddenly fell into a crouched position with his face in his hands. Jongho was never the one to initiate and it was a surprise when he did, he felt like his heart exploded. Especially when he saw how cute his satisfied expression was. Jongho looked down at his hyung and smirked.

“Only me, right?”

Mingi looked up and nodded. 

“Want me to prove it to you?” 

“If you think you can persuade me.” Jongho took in the goofy smile Mingi had which made his heart feel warm before the two stumbled into his room, their lips locked together and the younger one’s shirt already being pulled over his head before the door locked behind them.

No one knew, but they had been together for quite a while. They weren’t embarrassed about their relationship or anything, Mingi just didn’t want any of them asking him who topped. 

Of course he did. 

Well, maybe during rare occasions there was a role reversal. But they still loved each other and it was real. 

~

Hongjoong was tired. He stared at the sizzling bacon while his eyes kept fluttering closed. His body suddenly falling forward until Seonghwa grabbed him, his arms around him and holding him close.

“Careful, you’ll burn yourself.” he nuzzled his face into the soft hair.

Hongjoong yawned and shook his head to wake himself up but you could easily tell that he was up all night. When Yunho left his room he couldn’t fall asleep no matter what he tried. He even tried to work himself to sleep but it ended up being him opening his mac and then instantly closing it without even opening up his editing program. He spent his time pacing around his room, and trying to think of ways to apologize to Yunho. He couldn’t help but think about how he basically just used him for sex in an attempt to get over Seonghwa. He told himself he wasn’t that kind of guy, that the vocalist just happened to confess to him at a bad time, that it wasn’t his fault but he could’ve easily just rejected Yunho and saved all this heartbreak. Hongjoong let out an annoyed groan, there was no point in dwelling on that past, he just had to move on and hope that Yunho would too. 

“The bacon’s burning.” the familiar voice made him flinch. He re focused his attention onto the bacon and turned the stove off in a hurry.

“I was just kidding.” 

It was Yunho's voice taling behind him.

Hongjoong could see that they were actually perfectly cooked still. He felt Seonghwa laugh before moving away to set the table. The shorter member turned around to find Yunho, he had a sheepish smile and looked like he was afraid to make eye contact. 

“If you joke about that I’ll make your bacon burnt.” Hongjoong joked, trying not to make things awkward or cause a big scene. 

Yunho laughed, but it sounded choked and strangled. Hongjoong hated it. Seonghwa tried his best to ignore them but the atmosphere was getting to him too. He cleared his throat and excused himself, saying that he was going to get everyone to come to the table so that they could eat together. Once he was gone Yunho didn’t hesitate to ask. 

“So, you’re back with Seonghwa?” 

Hongjoong bit his bottom lip. “I-I guess...”

Yunho smiled, or at least he tried. It took all of his willpower not to bring Hongjoong into his arms. He seemed so small in front of him it killed him not being able to kiss those lips of his until they turned into the smile that he fell in love with over and over again. 

“I’m sorry, Yunho. I really am, I promise I’ll make it up to you-”

“Don’t try to, because I’m sure it’ll hurt me even more if you do.” he stared at Hongjoong before coming to the conclusion that he wasn’t ready yet. He wasn't ready to be usual self in the same room with him.

“Sorry, I’m not hungry. Just give my serving to Jongho.” Yunho excused himself and left. 

Hongjoong cursed himself. He needed to make it up to him but maybe it was just as Yunho said. If he tried it would probably hurt him more and maybe all he needed was time. 

The thunder still crashed in the sky outside. 

Hongjoong covered his ears, it was loud. Loud enough that he wondered if it was the thunder outside that cracked his heart in half. 

~

Breakfast was quiet. It wasn’t the same when one of the happiest people of the group wasn’t with them. Yeosang kept glancing at the empty seat. He wanted to see Yunho, he wanted to see his smile and he wanted to see the bright blue hair that looked so good on him. As if he was literally the light of his life because it was just that bright of a colour. He finished his food faster than he usually did and thanked his two hyungs before getting up. He paused and looked down at his messy plate then over to Wooyoung.

“Can you clean my stuff up? If you do I’ll forgive you for the whole ramen crisis.” and with that Yeosang was gone.

Wooyoung was about to protest but he didn’t. Except he gave a thumbs up and yelled out ‘Fighting!’ knowing exactly what he was doing. The rest of them thought nothing of it, they just thought that he was going off to play with his drone like usual.

Yeosang knocked on the room Hongjoong and Yunho shared. He waited a few minutes but there was no answer. He eventually gave up and walked over to the door that led outside and made a short path over to the dance studio they used. He could see that the lights were on and he quickly made his way over. The wind actually managed to push him back a bit and the rain had soaked his entire body but he still pushed the doors open with all his strength. He looked up through his soaked hair and found Yunho stretching. His clothes sticking to him and drops of water falling from his hair.

“Yeosang?” 

“What are you doing, Yunho?” 

“Nothing, just getting some extra practice.”

“But you’re wet.”

“I know, but I forgot a towel and a little water won’t stop me.”

“That’s a lot of water.” Yeosang approached him.

“There’s a lot of water on you too.” Yunho smiled at him. 

Yeosang couldn’t help but smile back. He then took a seat beside him and began copying his stretch. Yunho watched him, he stopped and crossed his legs.

“You’re not here to practice.”

Yeosang stopped and looked over. “You’re right I’m not.”

“Then what? Are you here to ask if I’m okay?” Yunho ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it back to get a better look at the one beside him. “Because if you are then I’ll tell you that I’m not.”

“I know.” Yeosang mumbled. 

Yunho stared, Yeosang’s bangs covered his eyes and water dripped off him, the clothes that hugged his body became transparent. He got rid of the hoodie he was wearing earlier and was just wearing a large white shirt. It sat above his knees and showed his stomach and his chest due to the water, Yunho wanted to look away but the sight seemed so beautiful to him. He was of course the visual of the group but he never really took a second to admire him. He pushed one side of his bangs away to see one of his eyes, they looked so bright to him up close and he could feel his heart jump a little. It was a familiar feeling but Yunho completely ignored it. Yeosang blushed but didn’t look away. He leaned forward, making Yunho lean back slightly but only their foreheads ended up touching. Yeosang hesitantly placed his hand on top of Yunho’s and held it.

“I know you’re not okay, but I also know that there’s someone out there that’ll give you the love that you deserve, so you have to be your happy self for them. Or else it’ll just make them sad.” 

“Are you talking about Atiny’s?” Yunho laughed and found himself intertwining their hands together.

Yeosang closed his eyes and his entire body warmed up from the one touch.

“Sure.” his heart pounded in his chest, he wasn’t ready to confess yet but he was slowly getting there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are we nearing the end? Maybe, maybe not- thisficmightendup20+chapters hahahahaahahhahhhaaaaa and can someone give Yunho a hug for me he's such a sad puppy- jhjfhdsjgrea
> 
> thanks again for all the support for this story! 
> 
> p.s. I am planning a YunSang one shot fic so I might hold off on this one until I'm done that! But I promise it won't take too long~ Just means that my next upload won't be the next chapter to this q - q
> 
> or will it????? >:3


	10. Realization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OHMYGOD. 
> 
> I WONDER IF ANYONE STILL READS THIS. 
> 
> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I promise I didn't give up on this story, I swear I'll finish it!!! Please be patient with the updates uwu  
I have so many stories lined up but I reaaaallly wanna finish this one
> 
> so hopefully we'll reach the end soon and we can start with a fresh new heartbreaking story! :)))))

The storm suddenly ended as fast as it had started. Yunho could feel the warm rays of light and his eyes sparkled from the sight in front of him. Yeosang slicked his hair back and it seemed like his entire body sparkled from the light and droplets of water. His lips looked so soft, like he wanted to feel them. There was a small thump in his chest and his face burned up but he looked away once Yeosang caught his stare. The other smiled and admired him, the brown orbs he’d fallen in love with finally had colour in them and he could finally hear his real laugh again. Yunho looked like himself again and Yeosang didn’t want this moment to end. They were alone together and it felt like their hearts were connecting for the very first time.

“Do you wanna head back?” Yunho was about to get up but Yeosang grabbed his sleeve, tugging him to come closer.

“No... Not yet.” Yeosang felt him adjust his position to get more comfortable on the floor. He moved closer to Yunho and hesitantly let his head fall onto his shoulder. 

“I just... Wanna be here with you for a bit longer.” he was afraid to leave the studio. He was afraid that if they went back into the dorms his heart wouldn’t be able to reach Yunho because Hongjoong would be the one catching his attention as usual. 

“Sure.” Yunho smiled and closed his eyes. 

He didn’t even realize that his hand was on top of Yeosang’s, holding it ever so gently. 

~

Hongjoong let go of the doorknob. He smiled, the small slit of glass on the door revealed the couple on the floor. Their eyes both closed and their fingers intertwined. He didn’t want to break Yunho’s heart, he didn’t want to see him cry and he didn’t want to be the reason for the pain the other was going through but there was no denying that it was his fault. He could blame Seonghwa but it was his choice for playing with Yunho the way he did. He hated himself that his heart didn’t even hurt the way it should, if he ever had feelings for the taller member he should hate the sight in front of him but all he felt was content and a hint of relief. He was glad that Yeosang could be the one to heal him. It would all just fall onto the fact if Yunho would love him back. He returned back into the house to find Seonghwa waiting for him in the living room. The vocalist smiled warmly and got up to greet him, his arms finding their way around his smaller frame and their lips meeting each other. Hongjoong’s heart exploded, it felt like it was their first kiss all over again. He missed this so much, he missed his scent, the feel of his hair when he tangled his fingers into the strands and the familiar taste of his lips. He couldn’t stop himself when he felt a tear fall down his cheek.

Seonghwa kissed it away. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing, I’m just so happy to be with you again.” Hongjoong held onto him so tightly, scared that if he let go he’d lose him all over again. 

Hongjoong spent months writing his emotions into countless songs. Songs of heartbreak filled his notebook and he couldn’t find a way to stop. He spent months crying until his eyes burned and his pillow was soaked and he spent months faking his smile. Acting strong, acting like the leader they needed and acting like the break up never affected him. He was done with that, all he wanted to do was cling onto Seonghwa for eternity. He loved him. He loved him so much that he wouldn’t be able to get back up on his feet if he lost him again so to be in his arms like this felt like euphoria to Hongjoong. Before he knew it he was giggling while Seonghwa peppered kisses up his neck and his cheeks. 

“We still have practice, don’t we?” Seonghwa reminded him as he finally let go. 

“Do we have to? Can’t we just stay in bed together?”

“I wish, but you’re our leader and we’re still idols.” 

Hongjoong whined but he knew that there was no getting out of practice. He also didn’t want to ruin Yunho and Yeosang’s moment but he had no choice. Just as he was about to head upstairs to get the others Seonghwa grabbed his hand, walking with him. The red head felt the butterflies in his stomach and it was the same feeling he had when they had first started dating. They really were starting over, it was going to be a whole new romance with Seonghwa and Hongjoong couldn’t contain his emotions. He covered his mouth with his free hand and looked away, suddenly feeling shy about showing his red face or the goofy smile he had on his face. Seonghwa glanced over to his side. It was Hongjoong beside him, holding his hand, acting shyly and attempting to hide his face. It wasn’t Yeosang, it wasn’t some random girl and he wasn’t alone. The one beside him was the one he’d fallen in love with from the start and his heart continued to race. He burned the fact that he wouldn’t mess this relationship up into his mind. He wasn’t going to lose Hongjoong and he wasn’t going to let anyone else touch him. 

~

“You can go get Wooyoung and San, I’ll get Mingi and Jongho.” Hongjoong slowly let go of his hand and walked down the hall. Seonghwa watched him walk away before opening the door to Wooyoung and Jongho’s room. 

“It’s time to practice guys-” the vocalist froze.

The two were half naked with San on top. Wooyoung below him with his arms around his neck and his pants resting below his knees; luckily he had his boxers on but it didn’t hide the fact that he was painfully hard. The three of them stared at each other, blinking a few times before finally reacting. 

“Sorry, could give us a few?” San casually asked, not breaking eye contact with his hyung. 

“Ye-yeah just meet us in the practice room as usual.” Seonghwa shut the door. He took a deep breath before hitting his head onto the wall, trying his best to get the image out of his mind. He should probably get into the habit of knocking now. He could hear the embarrassed cries of Wooyoung and San trying to calm him down and get him to continue whatever they were doing. Eventually Wooyoung’s voice ceased into moans and Seonghwa had no idea why he was still waiting in the hallway for them, he finally managed to walk away and over to the practice room. San must be really persuasive or good to make the loudest member of Ateez quiet down, the vocalist thought to himself, suddenly curious and wanting to know what his tricks were. 

~

Hongjoong walked in on Mingi and Jongho on the floor, they were both bundled up in the same blanket with the TV on in front of them. The red head chuckled and leaned against the door, making it creak and making the two on the floor turn to him. The youngest instantly got up after pushing Mingi away from him. He stammered out an excuse but Hongjoong waved him off.

“Don’t worry I won’t say anything if you make it to the dance studio before me-” Jongho basically sped past him, they could hear his rapid footsteps down the stairs and Seonghwa telling him to watch out. Mingi rubbed the nape of his neck with his usual goofy smile. 

“I love him.”

“I know you do.” Hongjoong winked at the other rapper before walking away. 

~

Jongho bursted through the door, almost slipping and falling to the floor. The loud voice of Wooyoung behind him woke the two that were cuddled up in the corner. Yunho fluttered his eyes open to find Yeosang slowly processing everything. He rubbed his eyes and yawned, their bodies so close to each other that the visual of the group could hear the other’s heart beat and it was faster than usual. He looked over at Yunho, he wasn’t looking back. Yunho found him so cute, he never realized his features until he stared at him up close. Until he felt his lips and until he felt his touch. 

“Is something wrong?”

“N-No, nothing...” Yunho cleared his throat, his hand suddenly shaking on top of Yeosang’s. 

He couldn’t figure it out. The warmth he felt made him feel like he was actually loved. Like his heartstrings were being pulled to the fact that he felt his body temperature dropped when Yeosang got up to stretch and walk over to Wooyoung. He looked down at his hand, wanting to reach out and grab him. To kiss him and ask him to never let go- he suddenly felt a stab in his heart. Hongjoong walked in backwards giggling while Seonghwa held him, planting kisses on his nose, cheeks and forehead. Yunho’s feelings were all over the place. Why did it still hurt to see him when he couldn’t stop thinking about Yeosang? Why did it hurt to know that he was smiling because of Park Seonghwa and not him. He wanted someone to tell him. He wanted someone to tell him what he should do before his feelings turned him insane. Mingi suddenly sat beside him and started shaking him. Yunho laughed as his friend forced him up and into position. Right, it wasn’t the time to think about these things, he had more important things. 

Practice dragged on. Yunho watched Hongjoong almost the entire time as usual. It wasn’t until his eyes caught Yeosang’s in the mirror. Their gazes locked together, the sweat rolling off his body and the way he panted ever so slightly. He watched as Yeosang stuck his tongue out, licking his lips. Yunho stumbled on his feet, messing up the move and his positioning. San basically pushed him forward, telling him that he should’ve stepped forward. Hongjoong clapped his hands, looking over at Yunho and raising his brow.

“You alright?” everyone stared at him.

He could hear Yeosang’s slow breathing, he could smell the scent the lingered around him earlier yet his heart ached as him and Hongjoong stared at each other. This was it, he felt like he was going to break. He would stare at their leader with a broken expression while wanting to hold him in his arms yet for some reason it was as if his mind was telling him to look at Yeosang. To look at him and admire him. To love him and to cherish him. As if it wasn’t right to love Hongjoong, but he pushed those thoughts away and he didn’t know why. 

“I-I’m sorry I just need to take a break. I’m feeling a little dizzy.” he ran his fingers through his hair and walked out without another word. 

The air dropped in the room. Hongjoong clapped his hands again, but it was quiet and now his entire body trembled. Tears wanting to fall from his eyes again but he sniffled and turned to his team. He yelled in the loudest voice that he could, telling them to get back into positions but his voice faltered and cracked. Not another word was said, the music drowning them and their bodies mindlessly moving to the choreo. 

Yunho stepped into his room, falling into his bed and sighing into the pillow. Everything hurt. His body, his heart and his mentality. Hongjoong broke his heart and there was no way that he was going to fix it. But... There was something about Yeosang. Something that he couldn’t figure out, he felt the same butterflies but they would all fly away with just the sight or thought of their leader. Yunho inhaled the air around. His mind was back on Hongjoong, seeing his shirt on the bed across from him. What did he do to deserve such heartbreak? What did he do to deserve the fact that Hongjoong only had sex with him to get back at Seonghwa. He was used. Used and thrown to the side. Yunho just wanted help. He wanted to be selfish and have things go his way for once. 

He was crying again. Like a lost child. 

~

“I’m going to check on him.” Mingi spoke up right when the song ended. They continued practice for another hour but he couldn’t take it anymore. He knew Yunho, he knew his best friend, he wouldn’t just leave because of a headache. He would just sit down in the chair he claimed for a bit before pressing on. That was Yunho’s strength and passion, he would always push through no matter what. It was unusual for him just to leave.

“Alright, I guess we’ll end practice a little early today. We’ll just extend it tomorrow.” Hongjoong could feel the atmosphere crushing him. The countless gazes on him when he talked to Yunho made him weak, knowing that they were probably judging him for making one of their most cheerful members break down. Once Mingi let the door shut behind him Hongjoong suddenly felt like falling forward, his legs giving out from his fatigue and emotions until arms were suddenly around him. It was an unusual feeling when it wasn’t Seonghwa or Yunho. The voice and words that were whispered to him were soft a reassuring. He felt a hand running through his hair, almost like they were petting him.

“It’s not your fault and you don’t need to beat yourself up over it. Okay?” 

Hongjoong looked over.

“Yeosang...” his lips trembled. “I’m sorry... I hurt him and now he’s obsessed with me and-” 

Yeosang tightened his grip around Hongjoong. His cheek rubbing against the other’s and his chin resting on his shoulder. He shushed him again. 

“I’ll help him.” 

The rest stared at them, a smile on all their faces. San approached them first, grabbing Hongjoong’s smaller hand and placing it on his chest, a bright smile on his face.

“You’re still our amazing leader and we all know that you went through a hard time too. It’s not worth to dwell over this, just give Yunho his space and time. Okay?” 

“No one blames you, Hongjoong!” Wooyoung jumped onto Yeosang’s back, pushing them forward and onto San. They all fell to the floor, loud laughter echoing in the room. “If anything we should blame Seonghwa.” Wooyoung jokingly yelled while looking over at his hyung.

The vocalist stuttered and tried to find an excuse but they waved him off. Seonghwa jumped onto the pile, grabbing Wooyoung and pinching his cheeks. The two of them rolled off and now they were running around the room. Yeosang got off and helped Hongjoong up while San went over to tease their maknae. Jongho was only watching them from the floor, he sat with his hands behind him and his legs out. He laughed at them but jokingly threatened to punch San when he approached him and started mentioning the fact the Mingi would be seen following him around more often.

“You two have a secret, don’t you?” San poked at Jongho.

“I’ll punch you.” he replied with a smile on his face but the other wasn’t phased continued to pester with such energy that it felt like a normal day. 

“You like him, don’t you?” at that point Jongho was suddenly singing high notes. 

Yeosang looked over at Hongjoong. He was smiling again. Not only because of Seonghwa, but because of everyone. Now all they needed to do was fix one more broken member.

~

Mingi didn’t even knock. He opened the door to find Yunho staring at himself in the mirror. He flinched at the sound of the door closing behind him. 

“It’s just me.” 

“Oh...”

“You can’t expect Hongjoong to come, you know that.” Mingi sat down on the bed and watched as Yunho rubbed his eyes, they were red again. After what felt like an hour of silence he took a seat on the other bed to face his friend. Yunho tried to smile back, he really did but it didn’t work. He could only hold onto the bed sheets and grit his teeth as an attempt to stop himself from the same old water works. He stared at the floor and curled his toes, he was trying to talk, he wanted to ask Mingi for help but nothing would come out. It really broke Mingi’s heart to see him like this. He stood up and Yunho felt his warmth. They fell back onto the with the rapper on top. 

“Do you remember what you told me when I said I was too scared to ask out Jongho?”

Yunho shook his head, unable to think about anything but the pain and emotions that stabbed him. 

“You told me that even if he doesn’t like you back then stay on your feet and look forward. Stay strong and be patient because no matter what you do it’ll eventually lead you to the one that loves you back.”

Yunho snuggled his face into Mingi’s arm and held onto him tightly, waiting for more words because the silence killed him.

“So why aren’t you doing the same? Why are you hurting yourself when the one that loves you back is probably waiting for you?”

“Because it’s not Hongjoong-”

“What’s so special about him? Tell me.” 

Of course Hongjoong was amazing, he was talented, polite, a great leader and he was everything that Yunho fell in love with. He closed his eyes and began to imagine every moment with him, the way they held hands and the way they would slowly fall asleep with each other and the way that he was there when no one else was. The words that came out of his mouth explained the one he learned to love. 

“He can be quiet sometimes but when he speaks or sings his voice is smooth like honey... He plays with drones and it’s really cute because he was like a child when he used it to bring us spoons and chopsticks and it’s funny when he makes fun of the other members but admits his love for us all-”

The realization suddenly hit him. The two sat up and Mingi had such a goofy smile on his face that Yunho sputtered out a chuckle until the two of them were laughing together.

“That’s Yeosang isn’t it?”

Yunho gripped onto his shirt and nodded.

“Yeah, I guess it is.” 

He was in love.

**Author's Note:**

> soo, the fic might've been a bit confusing but basically 
> 
> hongjoong loves seonghwa  
yunho loves hongjoong  
seonghwa loves hongjoong but thinks hes in love with yeosang instead  
yeosang loves yunho but can't bring himself to be honest with himself whenever he's with seonghwa
> 
> aaa even im confusing myself //sobs
> 
> but i hope that you guys enjoyed! thanks for reading and i hope i'll be able to finish this fic!~


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